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Loch Lomond Humour

Scottish music-hall comedians for years have loved to tell the story of the American tourist who was keen to see the bonnie banks o' Loch Lomond and the Trossachs. He hired an old Scots guide, and as they rounded a bend in the road, the American asked:

"What's that little pool over there?"
Said the Scot: "Pool! Man, that's Loch Lomond, famous in song and story."

"Well, then, we could do with that in N00 York," said the American.

Sandy replied: "Nae trouble at a. Ye can get it ower fast enough."

"How do you mean, my man?"


To which Sandy made the now-classic retort:" Weel, a' ye need is a few miles o' pipe, an' if ye can sook as well as ye can blaw, it will be ower the Atlantic in nae time."

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